You stopped being interesting the day you were born and it's all been downhill from there. You've been ruining my life for such a long time I can't tell any more if there was a time before you. I could injure you, but that would be counterproductive. I try drugging you, but the results are limited at best. Why the hell won't you ever leave me alone? You know I dream daily of spraying you across the landscape, but that's unreasonable as well, which is just a flip-flop because the unreasonable is your domain.
The worst part is living under the knowledge that one day, you're going to win.