Hannibal V Constantine (hannibalv) wrote,
Hannibal V Constantine
hannibalv

August 2, 2001

I don't think about the future.

More accurately, I don't think about MY future.

I don't think I have one. I think I'm just filling time until some putatively unknown but probably relatively soonish date when things will end.

This bout of plumbing futurelessness is brought about by the arrival today of the local community college's quarterly catalog. I was told that I'd better either get a job soon, or sign up for classes. Three guesses as to which I'd prefer.

This led to a long dialogue about "You have to do SOMETHING" and "too much potential" (which almost caused me to break my own finger) and "what do you want? What are you going to do?"

Obviously, I couldn't say, "Oh, it's not really a concern, I don't expect to survive past my 28th birthday." I probably shouldn't have just said it now, but what the hell.

I also heard "he didn't plan to fail, he failed to plan", which is, again, counteracted by my previous unsaid statement-I suppose I AM planning to fail.

I don't want the degree, or success. Attempting them might kill me, even sooner than my target.

So I guess I was being a little untrue when I said I don't think about my future-I do, but it's got a definite end date.

And all I really have to do is wait.

Today's Link Of The Day is Exploding Dog. Sam draws pictures from your titles. These pictures are…a little odd, to say the least. Look for yourself: http://www.explodingdog.com

JHR
8/3/2001 2:03 AM
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