Hannibal V Constantine (hannibalv) wrote,
Hannibal V Constantine

June 9, 2001

The game must change or I will leave it.

Big congratulations to the Colorado Avalanche and Ray Bourque.

I'm on the verge of filleting one or both of my parents. I'm tired of playing go-between, peacemaker, and house slave.

Tonight's discovery: shouting "PRAISE JESUS!" out of a moving car at a guy on a motorcycle will make his control wobble briefly.

So I'm like, very, very alone. Watching "The Tao Of Steve" tonight not only did nothing to help that, it made me feel worse about it. If you haven't seen the movie, the title describes the woman-attracting philosophy of the lead character-"Be desireless, be excellent, and be gone." And, since the film is more or less based on a real person, apparently it works. I, of course, have my doubts-but then, it's been so long that I've even met anyone, I'm in no position to judge.

I've read lists of the top ten fears people have-spiders, public speaking, claustrophobia, clowns-and I don't think I've ever heard one mention "dying alone". But ultimately, isn't that the reason for the whole dating/relationship/marriage morass? Obviously, there's the biological mating/DNA imperative, but beyond that? They say, "the first marriage is the triumph of hope. The second and every subsequent marriage is the triumph of hope over experience." But it may be about more than hope. It may be that no on wants to look into the crystal ball and see that they die without anyone to weep for them. Yes, I believe in the possibility of romantic love (the combination of eros and agape) working, but what drives us to that? Is it brute animalism, an extension of the DNA imperative, an assumption that if one does not reproduce, one is evolutionarily worthless? Or is it something more, perhaps social/societal, an "everybody else is doing it so why can't I"?

God, I need a date.

Not much else today. Reading Tony Kornheiser's "Bald As I Wanna Be". Kornheiser is a sportswriter for the Washington Post, as well as doing a weekly (I think) general-interest column, somewhat in the Dave Barry vein, but with a little more Dennis Miller thrown in. Today's Link Of The Day is Warren Ellis's "Bad World", which is published and archived at http://www.opi8.com/badworld.shtml

6/10/2001 2:58 AM

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