May 22nd, 2002

NPA

(no subject)

May 21, 2002

What we have here is a failure to communicate.

Specifically, I'm having lots of trouble communicating to you, my reading public.

Agree or disagree: the promises we make to ourselves are the ones we feel worst about breaking.

What we've observed in the past few days is actually something that's a bit of a motif in my life: I'll start something patterned or repetitive, follow through on it for a while, then something will happen to get me behind, and I'll try to get up but only end up further behind, until finally I freak out and (usually) quit. Well, this time I certainly did freak out, but I'm not quitting-I'm just picking up where I should have been and backfilling what needed doing when I can.

This isn't easy for me-I really, really wanted to get through a full, seamless year, and having this blip happen so close to that anniversary borders on the infuriating. Hopefully, when I'm done with the three missing entries and have them retroactively posted, the problems won't show.

I was/am really torn up about this whole thing, though-I feel very guilty indeed about doing it. I feel like I'm letting you down in some manner. Am I? Or am I just being too hard on myself. I need you to answer that for me.

As for what I did today, I visited P, bought the special edition DVD of "Memento", and watched it. I'm disappointed in how little I'm doing now that I'm out of work again. I need to find another source of income, preferably soon.

Today's Link Of The Day is rather lovely, really-it's a series of radiographs (x-rays) of flowers. http://www-personal.umich.edu/~agrxray/gallery.html

JHR
5/22/2002 4:42 AM