So I just filled out the You Asked For It! survey, as encouraged by bdar. I found myself quite proud of my response for a question asking about the worst play ever written, and I share it with you here.
A family sitting in a room, coming to terms with things, but the hidden secret in their past won't let them. Treacly, trite, manipulative--sort of trying to be the freakish alchemical fusion of A Long Day's Journey Into Night, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof and Buried Child, but failing miserably. Of course, to make it even "better", I'm going to utilize wildly anachronistic costumes and sets (perhaps Elizabethan dress on a spaceship?) and utilize stunt casting of the sort that you end up with actors of the wrong gender in roles that are wholly prescribed one way or the other. Oh, and I'll make sure my own name is all over the playbill, so no one forgets just whose genius is behind all of this. Bonus points if I can charge an outrageous amount of money for tickets and/or have it run over three hours.
Yeah, I did it and described a play that I'd actually seen.
But I do want the surprise entrance to be Jimmy Hoffa rising from a plume of smoke and yelling, "I was never dead, muthafuckas!" while dancing a jig.