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February 14th, 2008

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03:53 pm
Is it possible to be kind without being nice? Discuss.

(9 points | Discuss)


[User Picture]
Date:February 14th, 2008 10:23 pm (UTC)

But why would you want to?

Well, I think it is, albeit difficult. And really why would you want to. In theory... you could. But, it seems that you cannot be nice and not kind. And the catch is that if you're going to be kind, but not nice, you cannot be cruel... Ah so, the whole foods people in evanston. They provide an effective retail service without a smile. They aren't actually going out of their way to be unpleasant to me, but they are not happy about being there or that I am there.

so yes. It's service or a gift without a smile.

Here are the definitions I use to give you your answer:

kind1 /kaɪnd/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[kahynd] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–adjective, -er, -est. 1. of a good or benevolent nature or disposition, as a person: a kind and loving person.
2. having, showing, or proceeding from benevolence: kind words.
3. indulgent, considerate, or helpful; humane (often fol. by to): to be kind to animals.
4. mild; gentle; clement: kind weather.
5. British Dialect. loving; affectionate.


[Origin: bef. 900; ME kind(e) natural, well-disposed, OE gecynde natural, genial1. See kind2]

—Synonyms 1. mild, benign, benignant, gentle, tender, compassionate. Kind, gracious, kindhearted, kindly imply a sympathetic attitude toward others, and a willingness to do good or give pleasure. Kind implies a deep-seated characteristic shown either habitually or on occasion by considerate behavior: a kind father. Gracious often refers to kindness from a superior or older person to a subordinate, an inferior, a child, etc.: a gracious monarch. Kindhearted implies an emotionally sympathetic nature, sometimes easily imposed upon: a kindhearted old woman. Kindly, a mild word, refers usually to general disposition, appearance, manner, etc.: a kindly face.
—Antonyms 1. cruel.

nice /naɪs/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[nahys] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–adjective, nic·er, nic·est. 1. pleasing; agreeable; delightful: a nice visit.
2. amiably pleasant; kind: They are always nice to strangers.
3. characterized by, showing, or requiring great accuracy, precision, skill, tact, care, or delicacy: nice workmanship; a nice shot; a nice handling of a crisis.
4. showing or indicating very small differences; minutely accurate, as instruments: a job that requires nice measurements.
5. minute, fine, or subtle: a nice distinction.
6. having or showing delicate, accurate perception: a nice sense of color.
7. refined in manners, language, etc.: Nice people wouldn't do such things.
8. virtuous; respectable; decorous: a nice girl.
9. suitable or proper: That was not a nice remark.
10. carefully neat in dress, habits, etc.
11. (esp. of food) dainty or delicate.
12. having fastidious, finicky, or fussy tastes: They're much too nice in their dining habits to enjoy an outdoor barbecue.
13. Obsolete. coy, shy, or reluctant.
14. Obsolete. unimportant; trivial.
15. Obsolete. wanton.
—Idioms16. make nice, to behave in a friendly, ingratiating, or conciliatory manner.
17. nice and, sufficiently: It's nice and warm in here.


[Origin: 1250–1300; ME: foolish, stupid < OF: silly, simple < L nescius ignorant, incapable, equiv. to ne- negative prefix + sci- (s. of scīre to know; see science) + -us adj. suffix]

—Related forms
nicely, adverb
niceness, noun

—Synonyms 2. friendly. 3. delicate, exact, exacting, critical, scrupulous, discriminating, discerning, particular. 7. polite. 10, 12. finical.
—Antonyms 1. unpleasant. 2. unkind. 3. careless. 9. improper.
[User Picture]
Date:February 14th, 2008 11:00 pm (UTC)
I think it is possible to be polite without being nice. I think it is possible to be nice without being kind. And I think it's possible to be kind without being polite.

Now I'm dizzy.

[User Picture]
Date:February 14th, 2008 11:12 pm (UTC)
Yes. See "Darcy, Mr." in Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice.
[User Picture]
Date:February 15th, 2008 02:54 pm (UTC)
I believe it is. However, it can be very unpleasant for the person receiving the kindness, who might actually prefer to be left the hell alone sometimes.
[User Picture]
Date:February 15th, 2008 08:47 pm (UTC)

In contrast to Dana's post

[User Picture]
Date:May 18th, 2008 07:31 pm (UTC)

Re: In contrast to Dana's post

[Subject line] + [message] * [user icon] = HILARIOUS!
[User Picture]
Date:May 18th, 2008 11:27 pm (UTC)

Re: In contrast to Dana's post

So should I take this as a sign that the quack attack is back?
[User Picture]
Date:May 19th, 2008 12:39 am (UTC)

Re: In contrast to Dana's post

Perhaps a quieter attack than previously.

But yes - once again quacking up. :)
Date:February 20th, 2008 03:00 am (UTC)

a counselor's perspective


I am "kind" quite often and "mean" at the same time. Consider that my kind action is to be honest, and help a client get where they are wanting to go . . sometimes you have to be mean to do so. . .

Being honest is always kind, but can be cruel at the same time.

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