Some people have already heard about what happened Thursday. As it's still technically up in the air, I won't tell exactly what happened here, though I will discuss it in private, if asked.
On to my main point for the evening, offered without comment (though not without edition). "Christy" is someone I've never actually met and only know through long online conversations, and the long opening quotation is from "Hopeless Savages: Ground Zero", written by Jen Van Meter, published by Oni Press.
Me (creating a new profile for myself): "I don't want to be the nice guy you hang out with while you repair the damage done to your self-image by egotistical thugs who wildly underestimate your worth. I don't want your head on my shoulder while you tell me what a great friend I am, so sensitive, just like a brother. I don't want to have to act happy for you when you go off with some charismatic idiot who--at best--thinks you are an ordinary girl…and not the treasure I know you to be. I don't want to look at you wistfully every so often, but never dare admit I've been wild about you since first grade because it would complicate your life and ruin the friendship. I've seen it. I don't want it. Sorry."
Me: Please note that the above comments are not actually directed at anyone in particular.
Christy: hey, I'm a girl. Want to hear what I think?
Me: Almost always.
Christy: this nice guy, the one who finishes last?
Christy: he is defined as "the nice guy who is harmless".
Christy: other nice guys, who don't necessarily finish last, are missing the
Christy: however, I've found sometimes, when seeking the head-on-shoulder sort of nice that a girl occasionally requires, that one selects for harmlessness.
Me: The problem, for nice harmless guys who are seeking to shed the "harmless" tag, comes in not knowing where the line of demarcation between "not harmless" and "outright asshole" is drawn.
Christy: that's the trouble.
Me: Because we've been conditioned to believe that there are really only two settings, Good Boy and Bad Boy.
Christy: also, one must know that once head is on shoulder, any shift from harmlessness means you're an asshole right then.
Christy: of course, this is just my own observation.
OK, one comment: I refuse to confirm or deny whether or not any experience with any specific person has prompted this line of thinking, and I will not entertain any speculation as to the identity of a person who may or may not exist.
OK, OK, two comments: my apologies to "Christy" for editing the conversation in the manner that I did, which, to my eye, diminishes your contribution to the discussion.
Today's Link Of The Day is something that must be seen to be believed. It worked for me a couple of days ago, but on subsequent tries I've had difficulty getting it to load, so good luck-it's worth the wait. Requires Flash. http://www.kubiko.net/
7/15/2002 4:30 AM